I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
