Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Watching her eat just hurts me
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
