i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
