You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
