People with herpes should wear stickers.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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