I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
