I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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