I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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