It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
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