i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
I'm just crazy horny about you
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Randomize
