I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
