U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
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