whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
