just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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