My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
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