...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
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