I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
