i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
