It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
