I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
