i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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