Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
