There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
