Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
