i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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