Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
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