Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
