Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
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