I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize
