Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
