All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
