tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
