Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
