how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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