I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
