The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up�
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
