how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize
