i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
sex in a hospital.. check
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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