yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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