dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I wish you could order shots online.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
