Me. At least after what I've been through.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
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