8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Randomize
