he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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