You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
We were destined to go to rehab together
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
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