3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
