ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
