I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
