Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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