yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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