How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize