Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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